Jackie Schultz’s cat, Mr. Peeps, was only dead for a week when her daughter, Evelyn, showed up with a replacement. Evelyn was a good lawyer, calculating, successful and emotionless. The downside was that the world according to her was perpetually black and white, devoid of the color that sadness and loss could bring. It was healthy to mourn on occasion. Jackie was not allowed.
“I bought him from Forever Friends. You know, pet cloning. He comes with a lifetime warranty,” Evelyn said, as if Mr. Peeps was a new appliance.
“Mr. Peeps was special. I don’t want a clone, Evelyn, but I appreciate the thought.”
“Mom, you won’t even notice. Genetically, he’s identical. Even better, they’ve removed the defects. So, no kidney issues. It will be as if Mr. Peeps never left.”
“He died, Evelyn. You can say the word. I’m not going to shatter into a million pieces.”
The look of disappointment on Evelyn’s face and in her body language was intense. As a child, if she did not get her way, it would result in drooping shoulders, a furrowed brow and an icicle stare. Jackie relented too often, in turn producing a great legal mind with a relentless drive, who wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“This was expensive. I wish you could appreciate that fact. What harm could come in having a familiar companion?” Evelyn asked.
Cross examination. Jackie was certain she would lose the argument.
“Fine. I’ll take him. I’m not sure I can call him Mr. Peeps, though. It just doesn’t seem right,” Jackie said.
“You can call him whatever you like, Mom. I borrowed the cat carrier from a friend, so I’ll need to return it. I hope that’s okay,” she said, kneeling down to unlatch the door. Without a care in the world, Mr. Peeps, or the superior version, walked out and jumped up onto Jackie’s recliner. This was his favorite resting spot.
“Well, I’ll be…” Jackie said.
“I have to run. Big court case tomorrow. Call me if there are any issues — not that there would be — I have all the paperwork just in case,” Evelyn said.
“Issues? You mean like he’s got a screw loose or something?”
“Very funny,” Evelyn said, kissing her mother on the cheek. Like a tornado, she blew in and out of the front door. Instead of leaving in her wake picnic table umbrellas, roof shingles and unmentionables, she left behind a reincarnated cat.
“Hi, this is Patricia, your friendly Forever Friend support assistant,” the voice on the phone said.
“Hello Patricia, my name is Jackie Schultz, and my daughter recently… used your services to bring my cat back to life. Except there seems to be a problem,” Jackie said.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Let me bring up your details.” A fury of typing was followed by Patricia’s perky response, “Ah, yes, here we go. Mr. Peeps was given a new lease on life by your daughter, Evelyn. What seems to be the issue?”
“Mr. Peeps is a black cat. I don’t think I’m going senile, Patricia, but now I’m starting to wonder because I woke up to a different cat.”
“Oh, how so?”
“He’s white now.”
“It happens from time to time — a bit of scrambling in the DNA is all. It’s nothing to worry about since Evelyn purchased the warranty. You can bring in Mr. Peeps, and we’ll provide a replacement.”
“A replacement? What happens to the current Mr. Peeps?”
“It’s completely painless. He’ll be euthanized.”
“Oh my.”
Evelyn sat across from Jackie, sipping a coffee, watching the curious looking, hairless animal with blue eyes, curled up in her mother’s lap. Mr. Peeps looked happy and well adjusted, even if he was considerably different.
“What you’re telling me, is his fur changed color, then fell out entirely, and now his eyes have changed from green to blue?” Evelyn asked.
“Technically, they changed from green to yellow and then blue,” Jackie said.
“Mom, seriously, I bought the warranty. Take him back and get a replacement. Something’s obviously not right. If they give you hassle, I can write a letter on the firm’s letterhead documenting the malfeasance, contractual terms…”
“Evelyn, please. He looks a bit odd, to be sure, but he acts just like Mr. Peeps. When I use the bathroom to do my business, he still follows me in, jumps right into the bathtub and sits there watching, waiting for me to finish. How crazy is that?”
“He’s not what I paid for, Mom!”
Mr. Peeps lifted his head up, out of slumber, and looked over at Evelyn, who was growing increasingly agitated. The cat stood, stretched his back in a long arch, his skin bunching up under his belly, and then jumped down off Jackie’s lap. He walked nonchalantly over to Evelyn, rubbing on her leg, purring. After stating his peace nonverbally, Mr. Peeps walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. The barely perceptible sound of hard cat food crunching was heard coming from the kitchen.
Evelyn started to cry.
“Sweetie, whatever is wrong? Please tell me it’s not this matter with Mr. Peeps,” Jackie said.
Evelyn shook her head no, reached into her purse and pulled out a tissue, wiping her eyes and then dotting below her nose. Jackie couldn’t remember the last time she witnessed Evelyn cry. At her father’s funeral she was so well put together, a rock for Jackie, taking care of all the arrangements, greeting guests, even giving part of the eulogy. Not a single tear shed through it all.
“I was fired two weeks ago — that big court case. We lost in spectacular fashion. I just couldn’t hold it together. As a bonus I got a nice fat fine for contempt of court. That job was all I had,” Evelyn said. She started to cry again, putting her face into her hands, sobbing, unable to contain her emotions any longer.
Jackie got up from her recliner and sat down next to Evelyn, putting her arm around her daughter, rubbing her back gently.
“No, it’s definitely not all you have,” Jackie said. “You’ve got me, and you’ve got Mr. Peeps — an old bitty and a hairless wonder of science.”
Evelyn laughed and looked up at her mother.
“I miss, Daddy,” Evelyn said.
“I know. So do I.”
Mr. Peeps walked back into the room, made his way over to the recliner and jumped up onto it. He pressed his paws up and down a few times, kneading the cushion, circled around and then plopped down, curling his tail around his body. A small patch of black fur was noticeable at the base of his tail.
Dear Reader: Is there a pet you once owned that is now deceased that you would love to have cloned through Forever Friends? Let me know in the comments.
Cats are eerie, to begin with, I had a cat named Binx her eyes were so yellow that they glowed in the dark. she never purred she would just sit and stare at me for the longest time. I would feed her then she would go back to starting at me for the rest of the day. One day I was cleaning and getting ready for spring and I left the back door open she walked right out and I never saw her again. Three years later as I was walking past an Antique store there in the window was a black cat with those haunting glowing yellow eyes just staring back at me. I knew in my heart that she had found the right home. Weird right?
What a rich/layered story! Nicely done, Brian. I enjoyed it from start to finish. At times I sensed Ray Bradbury elements.
Hmm...if I could choose any pet, I’d probably go with Brandy, my childhood English setter. She was such a great dog, so good-natured. I’ll never forget the way she habitually walked the perimeter of our house, looking for birds. She never harmed them...she would just point in their direction. Over time a dirt path formed because she did this so often. 😄